


My Heart Is Blue (For You)

by DisasterSoundtrack



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-29 11:26:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5125712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisasterSoundtrack/pseuds/DisasterSoundtrack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes I think Drag Race just made everything harder.</p><p>It’s a disappointment after another disappointment. Before winning Drag Race, I was happy if the club was half full. Now, I have to meet expectations. Satisfy the management. Fill an arena.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Heart Is Blue (For You)

**Author's Note:**

> A cute little Pearlet I wrote for a prompt.

Sometimes I think Drag Race just made everything harder.

“Thank you for the information. Yes. Yes, I’ll tell them. I’m okay. Thank you.”

I hang up. The management just informed me they had to cancel another of my tour appearances, because not enough tickets were sold to make up for the cost of setting the event up. I feel like a loser.

It’s a disappointment after another disappointment. Before winning Drag Race, I was happy if the club was half full. Now, I have to meet expectations. Satisfy the management. Fill an arena.

I’m still just a 23 year old person, damn it.

It’s good that I’m staying at Fame’s in New York, because I feel desperate; if I was at my own place in Atlanta, I’d break some plates. I can’t do that to Fame’s precious stuff, even though Fame is currently in LA.

It’s good that it’s New York, really. I feel like crying, but I grab my phone again, collect myself, and tscroll through my contacts for a familiar name.

“‘Sup?”

“Hey, Matt, are you busy?”

“Netflix and chilling with myself, so not really. What’s up?”

“Can you come over to Fame’s?”

“But we just hung out.” He’s right. We’ve spent the entire morning walking around Manhattan, and then ate lunch together in one of the trendy, hipster joints. I enjoyed that, because I wasn’t worried about my dreams falling apart just yet.

“I know. But can you? Please.” _I kind of need you_ , I don’t say, but I try to make that known by the tone of my voice.

“Well, okay. Should I bring a change of clothes and a toothbrush?”

The questions and its implications hang in the air between the two of us. I draw my nails into the flesh of my palm.

“Yeah.”

“Okay. I’m on my way. Are you alright? Should I hurry?”

“Just come. I’m waiting.”

I hang up and toss the phone to the sofa. I take a deep, shaky breath, and then tears start to fall.

*

The crying doesn’t stop before Pearl arrives. The doorbell rings and I open Fame’s door red in the face and sniffling, swallowing tears. Pearl, looking just like when we parted ways four hours ago, frowns at me, but he doesn’t ask any questions. He just takes a step closer, separating me from the world with his hug.

I cling to him the second our bodies touch. With Matt, I feel small and taken care of. I feel like I don’t have to try, like I don’t have to be strong all the time. I love this feeling.

He’s caressing my back with his big hands, kissing my hair behind my ear. I’m just holding on, trying to breathe.

“You okay, Pumpkin? What’s happening?”

“They canceled another Kiss and Tell gig. I’m just - I don’t think I can do this anymore. I’m scared, Matt. I’m so scared.”

He moves so that he can see me, and takes my face into both of his hands. I can feel my heart pounding, threatening to escape my chest. I look into Matt’s eyes and they’re very, very bright.

The air shifts and something in the atmosphere between us changes. Half a second later, I am being kissed.

Matt’s decision to do it right here, right now, shocks me. I am probably not at my most attractive from all the crying. My hair is a fluffy mess, and I’m wearing leggings and an oversized cotton t-shirt. He doesn’t seem to mind. _He just wants me to stop crying_ , a voice in my head tells me, but I decide to ignore it. I part my lips, holding onto Pearl while he drags his fingers through my hair, gently, and his tongue along my teeth. Our lips brush, I suck in another shaky breath, my hands wandering to hide underneath his t-shirt, on the warmth of his skin. It’s a mess of tongues, touches, need and comfort, and it’s so perfectly ours and ours only. Our noses bump, I can feel his stubble on the soft skin of my face, and I want him to never ever stop kissing me.

But eventually, he does.

“You’re gonna be fine. So you can’t fill this venue, whatever. You’re gonna fill another one. You’re America’s Next Drag Superstar, remember?”

“Well, I got the crown…”

“That’s what I’m talking about.” He tips my chin up. “Now, show me your bitchiest smile, Violet.”

I try my best to do just that. I manage to make Pearl laugh, so it’s kind of a win, and he plants a kiss on my forehead.

“Here, my girl’s back.”

*

At night, when he calls me his girl again, and then his boy, I give him another smile. This time, it’s one of the good ones.

**Author's Note:**

> Always yours at samrull.tumblr.com !


End file.
